When you are about to lose control, how do you maintain composure?
When you have had a bad day, or you are dead dog tired and someone adds the proverbial last straw to your back, how do you cope? Do you lose it 5 times out of 10, 8 times out of 10? What do you do to vent, or do you just suck it up? Can you tell what kind of a moment I am coming off of?
posted by Mom2the6Rs @ 12:05 AM
11 Comments:
I get snappy and kinda mean...I hate it..I can really relate to the hulk in those moments...its another person but I cant seem to stop.....
It depends on where I am. If I am in public, say, the grocery store, I tend to be more patient or even tempered. Even though I may be boiling below the surface... I don't want to look like the wicked mother always yelling, or scolding her children. I also threaten them that if they don't start obeying right away, then they'll get a spanking from dad when he gets home from work.
If I am at home, and I get angry, I tend to be more verbal and LOUD. If I am so angry that I am shaking, I usually call my husband and vent on to him, so that I don't get carried away with my discipline. Willem has a soothing effect on the savage beast within me. His voice is like honey to me, almost instantly making me sweeter. I know, it's sounds corny, but it really is true.
First, Barf Kris...Honey? (hee hee)
Secondly, I have gotten much better about this since my pain does not go away. When I am at the limit, like, over the edge even, then I start looking for the first possible thing that I can marvel at within eyeshot. Literally, grabbing a rose nearby and taking a huge whiff, or grabbging my kid and hugging her and making me hold her for a second - anything that will give my brain something else to think about for a minute.
I swing 'like tarzan' from instant pleasure to instant pleasure (banging on a drum is SO awesome; teeth feel really good after being freshly brushed) until I settle down.
I figure that it took me a while to get that worked up, so I have to give myself time to work down. When I'm stressed, chemicals are coursing thru my body - giving my body a break and (like Kris, get an instant relief from a loved one) focusing on something else is always effective for me.
i always take a deeply breath by myself...and said one two three..
after think where did i do wrong or i need to do something with my annoy. in my view, calming down is the best way to solution.
Maintain hmmm, I lose control far to often.
AHHH, Calgone take me away.
After I lose control I lock myslf in the bathroom, sit on the pot with my head in my hands and pray. Oh God help me!!!
Hey! I just learned a technique in my Life Coaching studies!
You take what you're going thru and blow it WAY OUT OF PROPORTION - for example:
Late for an appointment:
Thought: "Oh my gosh, I'm late!"
Possible follow up thoughts: "I hate being late, why can't I manage to be places on time?" and endless spiral of self guilt...followed by annoying attitudes....
The suggestion is that you take this and blow it way out - say:
"I am always late. Sheesh. I'm sure everyone will hate me. They'll stop inviting me to parties. I will probably get a call from CNN to ask me what its like to be the lamest appointment arriver-on-timers ever. I'll be famous. But no one will want to party with me. I'm sure everyone who looks at me knows I'm a late bloomer." and so on
It sounds odd like this, but the wilder you go with the blow OUT the funnier it starts to get, and the more things get put into persepctive.
Its seeming to work for me.
Huh, I have never applied that type of thinking to myself but we do it to the kids all the time and Rick uses it on me every so often. I don't know if I could blow a situation out of proportion enough to have true perspective come in. I usually only go far enough with my thoughts to make me depressed and/ or angry. That's why Rick has to finish the job and blow thing way out.
But it does seem to work huh? I'm so tickled because it helps me have a sense of humor about things too :-)
One of the things I love about Winnie the Pooh is that Christopher Robin is never mad at Pooh for being Pooh, he's always loving and understanding, "Silly ol Bear."
I'm learning to let myself imagine others having that same attitude of loving patience with me as he had with Pooh.
I was inspired by a story I got in an email about this very subject..I posted the story on my blog JLBickler.blogspot.com check it out !! Its worth the read!
I have to add another thought. Lis Rick would be really good at finishing for you. I can see that in him. An the pooh analigy is awesome Chick Did any of you know that I have always wanted to buy 100 acres to build a house on and name my estate the "Hundred Acre Woods" With an arched sign over two big poles as you drive up the driveway and the long drive way lined with trees kinda like in the Sound of music. OK enough secrets
Jim, you are much more romantic and fairytale minded than I ever realized! This blog is an amazing place to find out so much about those we have known for so long! I never would have guessed the 100 Acre Wood thing about you! So sweet! What a brother I have!
Jules
Post a Comment
<< Home